These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
