i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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