There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
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Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
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He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I'm currently trying to figure out a way to fill the bathtub up with mashed potatoes so when he comes over he'll know what's about to hit him..
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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