that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
