morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
Randomize
