Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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