he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I AM VODKA MAN
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
