what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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