whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Buhtt sex?
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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