do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I lost the right to judge tonight
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
