Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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