i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I really hope you aren't where I think you are. Dude she has a MUSTACHE. You need Jesus..
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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