1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Randomize
