just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Randomize
