Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
I climbed through his window to find him already with another booty call. This wouldn't have happened if I could upgrade from my 7th grade scooter to a real car.
…If I were you I wouldn't use that as part of your argument to your dad for a car
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
