im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
