"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Randomize
