READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
