do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
Randomize
