I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
