He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
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my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
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Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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