Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
