youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
Randomize
