it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
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she said she was living bicuriously through me.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
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I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
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