After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
