We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Randomize
