I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
