i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
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