Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I just woke up to myself peeing the bed. Happy hump day! I'll never get married.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
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