Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
So I just went to clothing optional bar
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
Randomize
