go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
