I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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