Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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