don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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