i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
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