Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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