We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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