sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
