we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
