why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
