all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
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