Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I was asking the bouncer, "if I fall will you catch me?" which then turned into "if I jump off the roof will you catch me?" He said no.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Randomize
