the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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