Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
