im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
