I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
