so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Randomize
