ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
