I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Right now I'm laying face down on my carpet in my living room in the darkness sending work emails from my phone.
It's a glamorous life.
Randomize
