please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
Randomize
