no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
I feel like I shouldn't have to explain to you why giving your cat weed was a bad idea.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
