I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
I'm on my "fiiiiirrrst" glass of wine- the quotes mean it's the last of the bottle- so I really need you to pick up your phone so we can talk about this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Randomize