thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
You are the funniest drunk Jew I know. Never in my life have I witnessed someone respond, "Is your dick kosher?" while being picked-up on.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
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