I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
Ive decided to see your threat against my life as you flirting
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
