just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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