in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
