Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
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