My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You were trust falling into bushes
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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