Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
They let me keep the giant cocktail glass because I threw up in it. And made out with the bartender. Europeans are so generous. I'm getting it engraved
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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