actually, I'm a sock model
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
You're breaking my sexual little heart
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Randomize
