what date should I let him know how fucked up I am?
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
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