tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
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