They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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