theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Just high enough for therapy.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
Randomize