is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
