i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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