dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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